You want to read this one to the end!
What the heck happened?
Let's journey back to my junior year of high school for a hot second. 2002... I might be dating myself, but what do I care? I can never remember my age anyway, and my son's babysitter thinks I look 23!
So, this is the year my cosmetology career began. You might wonder how that would be possible if I were in high school. Well, a door opened, and I not only walked but ran through it!
I hated school! Not scholastically but socially. I know I'm not the only one, either. Beginning in seventh grade, I was bullied for three years. Not by just one person but by one person and her group of cronies. It was so bad the police had to be involved several times. Yet, time and time again, the school administration kept ignoring the problem. Think that'd fly today? Most certainly not! So you can see how I was ready to peace the F out by junior year.
That story isn't the object of affection today, but if you want to hear more, let me know!
Anyway, I took an opportunity to attend a tech program to get out of dodge. The second reason was financially based. My parents weren't going to pay for college, and of course, I could've jumped through the hoops of financial aid, but I wasn't passionate about studying just one thing, and I didn't want the debt hanging over my head.
At age eleven is when my entrepreneurial side began. My parents taught me that no one owed me anything, and if I wanted things, I had to work for them. So, I took a babysitting job for my neighbor and loved the feeling of freedom having my own money gave me. That feeling of not needing the approval to buy whatever I wanted. As I got older, I felt that feeling of not needing someone else's help or being stuck in an unfortunate situation I couldn't get out of, like I once was. I needed to be a woman who didn't depend on a man or anyone else for that matter.
Rewind further. Why is this important?
If you don't know me, my parents divorced when I was five. It was a terribly abusive marriage and was for the better. Parents always tell their children in those situations, "it wasn't your fault." And it isn't ever.
I know the events leading up to the divorce weren't my fault, but I take great pride and
responsibility for the day my mom decided to leave. It was because of what I witnessed, what I was sworn to secrecy about, and for what I word vomited to my mom that she left. I knew with every ounce of my being what I saw at four years old was so wrong. And let me tell you, the backhand I took for not protecting the man who hurt several people repeatedly was well worth it, and I'd do it again.
After that, we ran, hid, and feared for our lives. Not forever, but for a long time. I'm not about playing the victim card; I learned this from my mother. I watched her work her ass off to support my brother and me. And most importantly, she did everything possible to keep us safe. And she did.
My mom met the nicest man you could ask for, who she married a few years later. That man is the man who 100% is my father. I certainly look and act more like him. And I know one thing for sure, my smart-ass personality certainly comes from him. I couldn't be happier about the unfavorable circumstances that led us to him. I believe if you focus on the positive, you will attract more of just that, positive! My parents worked hard and smart. We always had the necessities and never went without.
Why the lack?
The lack of everything came from the person I call my sperm donor. Yeas, my biological father. He took everything from me, right down to money gifted to me. I'm not talking about taking it and putting it in my savings account when I thought it had just disappeared. I'm talking about taking it and spending it right before me. This is only the beginning of the horrible things he did, but this is important because it created a very odd relationship with money for me.
These things are all relevant when we understand the brain and how the first three years of our lives influence are the most crucial. To read more about this, check out my post Why our mind-body connection is essential.
Cosmetology 101
One of the first things I learned in Cosmetology school is it takes forever for them to put a pair of scissors in your hand! Lame, I know, but in my 20 years of fixing a lot of other stylists hair cuts, I can see why. Haha! #sorrynotsorry
So, what they actually taught us was not to discuss religion, politics, or money with anyone! Why is this? Because these are the three topics that make most people squirm the most! If you know me, you know I'm all about pushing the envelope because if there is one thing I've learned, the things that make us the most uncomfortable are the things that need attention. And lots of it! The things that make us the most uncomfortable are the triggers that essentially hold us back. You know, the invisible blocks that keep us from getting out of our own way?
Show me the money!
Let's talk money! I have come across far too many people who find money extremely uncomfortable to discuss. As a hair stylist, I've seen many artists want to avoid raising their prices out of fear of losing clients. Even though inflation might be through the roof, they've incurred the same price scale for 15 years. They'd rather struggle financially than have to tell their clients they've raised their price. Most of the time, it's not because they don't think they deserve it or their clients can't afford it. It's the innate fear of discussing money, which stems from generational and cyclical patterns for many. Even though I love money and will talk about money all day long, I still had a money block! As you can guess, it came from my sperm donor.
This is not surprising for a lot, though, given women make, on average, .18 cents less per every dollar of men. So why do we still accept this as women living amongst equality? Again, #sorrynotsorry, but women are superior to men in so many ways(not in a feminist way), but we are still treated the opposite overall. Don't get me wrong, I value men, and they're amazing, but we work just as hard and smartly as they do while creating, carrying, and caring for babies and households. Since the quintessential 50's housewife model, we've gained more, sure, more work for less money while someone else raises our children. But, ladies, we know our worth, and women become stronger by supporting other women! So I'm excited to share this with you because this community of women is incredible!
Earlier this year, I was introduced to this beautiful soul I began following, Katya Nova, through a podcast. I love her perspective and passion, and she's inspired many projects on my current to-do list, including a journal I created earlier this year that I'm turning into an online course! I absolutely adore everything she puts her energy into because it's raw, real, and genuine, and I strive to be this free. I didn't know how much I needed this until I became a part of it, and WOW! Matriarch Collective has changed the way I see myself in every way. You have to check it out and see if it's for you! If it is, you'll be supporting me as an affiliate. So yes, I make 50%, which is beautiful! Matriarch Collective is about passionate, intelligent, expansive women supporting women. And we need to spread this wisdom! Now is the time to see what it's all about because they're on sale for Cyber Monday weekend! You won't regret it!!
If you have blocks surrounding money, Money Bootcamp is for you!
Money Bootcamp
If you want to dive into the confessions of women and learn things about us you never thought you'd know, The confessions are for you!
The takeaway
I've always had the innate ability to see the silver lining in unfortunate circumstances. At times I've struggled mentally, physically, or emotionally, but that silver lining, or what I like to call blind faith, has brought me abundance, and I've come out on top every time. This post is a reminder to stay positive and know there is always a community of like-minded individuals to support you, no matter how big the green monster is.
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7-Step Guide To Unlearn Blocks And Unleash A Life Of Abundance!
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